Chapter 4
Nourishing the Young Seedling
"Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root,
that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us." (Alma 32:37)
The seed of faith planted in my heart as a young boy, sprouted and began to grow. Though planted in the good soil of my gospel centered home, it still required additional light and nourishment. During times of neglect, growth would stagnate, but as I turned my heart to the source of all light, stirrings in my heart sprouted desires to continue the development of my budding testimony. As I sought for further spiritual guidance in my life, I decided to receive my Patriarchal Blessing when I was seventeen. The whole concept of the blessing was amazing to me. How could someone be so close to the Lord, that they could put his hands on my head and give me a blessing from the Lord? I met with the Bishop to obtain a recommend for the blessing and called Brother Bonner to set up a time. Not knowing this man at all, I decided to fast so as to help out as well as I could. I figured that this was an extra special occasion so I fasted for two whole days. By the time I got to his house, I had a burning in my bosom, but I don’t think that was the kind spoken of in the scriptures.
I remember him inviting me to sit down. We talked ever so briefly. I thought, “how could he give me a blessing without knowing me?” He laid his hands on my head and began to speak. I remember the most wonderful feeling come over me. When he said, “amen,” I no longer had any doubts. I knew that the blessing I received was from the Lord and was directed specifically at me. He may have not known me but God did and revealed His blessing for me to this man. I almost flew out of his home. I felt like I was walking on air.
I continue to grow and realize the blessings I was promised so long ago. Some of these blessings have had special meaning to me and that have helped me along my way. I was told, “you will be closely associated with the Creator and Saviour of the world.” I was promised, “as you prepare for life you will be inspired to make good decisions on the proper course of study to be taken.” This was especially touching at the time, because though I had always done well in school, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do for a living. I don’t think that it was a coincidence that it wasn’t until I was on my mission that I decided to become a physician. I was blessed, “to have an open mind which will be clear and receptive to inspiration. Because of the many callings you will receive you will receive inspiration directly at times. I bless you to understand that inspiration.” That blessing day itself helped me understand the workings of inspiration and revelation. I was warned of the adversary and told, “Things will go wrong, but I tell you that you have the power to overcome all the thrusts of Satan.” I was promised to be a husband and a father and counseled to teach my children, “even as you have been taught.” A marvelous blessing it is and I am still grateful for it.
I was ordained to the office of a priest in the Aaronic Priesthood when I was sixteen. I loved being a priest. My advisors were my heroes. First it was my father. My other advisor was Joe Featherstone, the son of Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone, one of the members of the first Quorum of the Seventy. He seemed to us as some sort of celebrity at first, but we immediately loved him for being a fun friend who wanted the best for us. During the summer we decided to take a trip to Cumorah and see the pageant. We made the four hour trip watching the pageant that night. What I remember most was being in the sacred grove the next morning. It was a bright sun shining morning. The birds were chirping and light filtered through the trees. I headed off by myself to find a quiet spot. It reminded me of our quiet “Indian Rock” at home. As I sat in that beautiful place, I thought, “I bet Joseph had been to these woods many times before to do the same thing.” I could imagine that he too loved being out among the birds and trees and feel the communion with God that I learned high on the mountains of the Sierra Nevada with my father. A great feeling of peace came upon me as I felt that I was in a truly sacred and special place. I saw no light, I heard no voice, but once again the spirit spoke peace to my mind and comfort to my soul. I have now come to recognize that feeling as the same one I get as I enter the Celestial Room in the temple or witness a baptism.
The next milestone in my life was receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood. My father ordained me to the office of elder and then conferred upon me this holy priesthood. I remember feeling the heavy hands on my head and feeling a sense of responsibility to fulfill. It was shortly after this that I was asked by my new Elder’s Quorum President to teach a lesson in our priesthood quorum. It was on the prophet Joseph Smith. I read through the manual where it outlined all of the things that Joseph Smith accomplished as the first president and prophet of the church in this dispensation. After I compiled the list of achievements I very clearly had the thought, “besides Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith has done more for the gospel than any other man.” The very next scripture I read was in Doctrine and Covenants section 135, verse 3, which proclaims, “Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived on it.” I’ll not forget the feeling that swept through me as I knew that the spirit had directed my thoughts and testified to my soul that he truly was a prophet of God. I remembered my feelings in the sacred grove and felt grateful to a Heavenly Father that would reveal his will to me, a young boy even as he had to the Prophet Joseph.
With a budding testimony in my heart and a youthful eagerness to be on my own, I excitedly left home that summer to attend Brigham Young University. I was thrilled to meet new people and make new friends. I had great friends in my ward at home but my circle did not extend much beyond them. I certainly was not one to easily commingle with the high school kids and certainly wasn’t “popular.” Having moved to Connecticut as a junior I would easily feel intimidated around some kids, not feeling like I “fit in” with their group. I soon realized at BYU that everyone was pretty much in the same boat I was. My good friend Ricky and I lived on the same floor in the dorms. We attended the dances the first week and I couldn’t believe how many good-looking girls were around. And to think that they were all members of the church! What a place!
We quickly made good friends with the other students in our ward. One of the things that we did as a group was go to Conference that fall. We got up early and stayed in line for one of the Saturday Morning sessions. At that time, President Kimball was the prophet of the church. His health was not too good and was not usually able to attend the sessions. We filed into the old tabernacle. You could feel the history. It amazed me to think that the early pioneers could make such a building. The seats were close together, firm and hard. My knees hardly fit in front of me. We got seats in the upper level about halfway back of the tabernacle. It was a bit noisy as everyone was getting in their seats and visiting a bit. Suddenly a hush came over the audience. I looked to see what was going on and there was President Kimball being assisted across to his seat. Everyone stood and someone started singing, “We Thank Thee, O God for a Prophet.” I felt the most intense feeling of love from all there toward that man. He stopped and waved and I felt an even more intense feeling of love being reciprocated back toward us. Tears welled up in my eyes and I knew that he was a prophet of God; I had no doubt. I guess that it was at that point that I knew that I would be a missionary. I had always planned on it, but had not thought about it too much. If, however, President Kimball wanted me to be a missionary, then that’s what I would be. The year before my mission was one of the best years of my life. Having made that decision allowed me to relax and have a lot of fun. Soon after the end of the semester I put together my mission papers and sent them in. It seemed like an eternity before I got them back. Finally the day came when the official church envelope arrived in the mail. When I opened it up I skipped to the part that said, “Guatemala.” I instantly felt a peace, a happiness of knowing that, yes, this was where the Lord wanted me to serve. My little seed had grown from a mere desire to know to where I now had a peaceful feeling about the Book of Mormon, a testimony of the prophet Joseph Smith, and I knew that Spencer W. Kimball was a living prophet on the earth. My little plant had budded and was ready to bear its first fruit. With this I felt armed and ready to go out and serve.
Heading into the MTC (Missionary Training Center) the one part of my testimony that I felt I needed to improve on was that of my savior Jesus Christ. Sure, I knew all the “right” answers. I knew who he is and why he came to earth. I knew that he died and suffered for us, but somehow I lacked the right feeling; the personal witness that I received with the prophet Joseph Smith and Spencer W. Kimball. I pondered that fictional story told to me as a young teacher often. If the Lord were to appear to me as a regular man, would I know him? I knew the answer was no, and it bothered me. I decided to make it a matter of study and prayer.
I decided to start with the New Testament. I quickly read through the whole thing. I especially enjoyed reading Christ’s parables and how he taught the people. I then turned to the Book of Mormon and read it once again. I also read through the Doctrine and Covenants, having the amazing experience of reaffirming my testimony of the Book of Mormon in the verses in section six. I felt good about all that I read in the scriptures and could testify the He was my saviour, but something was missing. That close association promised me in my patriarchal blessing was not there. During my stay at the MTC Elder Hartman Rector Jr. came and spoke to us. What a talk! The spirit was so strong as he testified of Jesus Christ. The Lord was answering my prayers, and yet still something was missing. The account of Enos came to my mind. He must have felt much like myself. He “wrestled” in prayer all day and night to know the Savior. I don’t think I had ever prayed more than five or ten minutes at one time before. One night I decided to pray for a whole hour. I waited until I thought my companion and roommates were asleep and then I climbed out of my bed and knelt beside it. After two or three minutes I ran out of things to say, but kept on praying. It seemed that it was the longest hour of my life. I again had a peaceful feeling, and yet there was still a void. By this time I was on my way to Guatemala. I was excited to go and anxious to meet the new challenges that lay before me. I would continue my pursuit of fully knowing Christ in the mission field.
