Some days I come home and the mental stress of the day envelopes me like a lead vest, causing me to feel physically heavy which leaves me totally exhausted. Most of the stress that I feel are the compilations of the many decisions that I must make every day to take care of patients. On top of that is the stress of missing clues, symptoms or lab results that may point to a diagnosis that was previously not considered. This is the stress that keeps doctors awake at night. This is the stress that drives me to my knees. Physicians are human too. We make mistakes. We are not perfect. This week has been heavier than others. I have struggled to help diagnose a condition in a patient who is struggling. He is frustrated and so am I.
On my way home from work I listened to an interview on the radio with Alicia Keys who just released an new album. One of the songs is entitled, "Good Job." It struck a strong chord with me today. It's chorus was a jolt of positive energy that lifted my spirits.
"You're doing a good job, a good job
You're doing a good job
Don't get too down
The world needs you now
Know that you matter"Apparently this is the message that I needed to hear today. As I sat down to my computer this morning at work and started going through my messages, I received one from a patient who simply sent me a note thanking me for his life. Twenty years ago today he came to see me. As I examined him I detected a lump in his thigh. It felt pretty much like a lipoma (fatty benign tumor) which I routinely tell patients not to worry about. This one felt just a bit different, more fixed to the deeper layers. I was so close to telling him it was just fine but decided to scan it. It turned out to be a lipomyosarcoma, a much more rare and often deadly cancer. He had a deep resection followed by radiation and has had no recurrence. He has continued to stay active, running marathons, biking and is now enjoying his four grandchildren. He expressed gratitude not only for that diagnosis but for the persistent checkups and care through the years. In a way his praise is terrifying as I know how close I was to not pursuing the testing. This afternoon, Alicia Keys' song was as if she were singing just to me. It was music to my ears.
This time of the COVID-19 pandemic has been stressful for so many people. We could all use a "good job" now and then. I am grateful for those that help me do my job. I have a fantastic team at my office consisting of my nurse practitioner, our assistants and secretary. They always have my back, keep me going and help my smile. I couldn't do what I do without them. I also have support staff at the respiratory clinic who bravely come to work in the face of certain exposure day after day. My partners in the office have always been there for me. I will always be grateful that they allowed me time off last year to spend with my father.
Above all, I would like to nominate my wife for doing a good job. I have been the source of more than her fair share of worry and stress this year. She is always there for me and keeps our family together. We have shared our burdens. We have cried together, laughed together, prayed together and loved each other. I am more than grateful to her and for all my many blessings.
I would love to know who you would nominate for doing a "Good Job." We can all use a little lifting, a little gratitude
