My Last Plea

 

India's COVID Crematoriums

As I finished my hospital rounds this morning my path took me by 4 West where my colleagues and I manned the expanded ICU during the winter months.  The lights were off, the rooms were empty and, thankfully, there were no patients needing our care anymore.  “Are you glad to have just one job?,” I was asked earlier by a nurse in the regular ICU attending to one of my patients.  I responded that yes, I was glad. I was especially glad that there was no more need for us to take care of the sick patients but that I did miss working with all of them, the nurses.  There is now a whole group of people that I pass in the hospital who wave to me as I walk by.  We smile remembering our time working together as a team. 

Today marks the end of another milestone for me and our fight against COVID.  For almost a full year, I have left my regular clinic on Thursday afternoons and staffed our respiratory clinic where patients who have symptoms that could be from COVID are sent to be evaluated.  From a risk perspective, it is likely more dangerous than the ICU since I see more patients, most of whom are recently sick and thus more infective.  We have full personal protective equipment on and are constantly cleaning all the surfaces.  Today was my last day in the respiratory clinic.  It remains open but we have hired a full time nurse practitioner to staff it full time.  She has been training with me for the last month and she is fantastic and is ready to go. 

The first patient we saw today already had a diagnosis of COVID but continued with a lingering cough. The chest x-ray showed a slight pneumonia but he looked like he was coming through his illness just fine.  The rest of the patients were all fully vaccinated. Some had colds, others perhaps a sinus infection or an asthma flare. It was frankly nice to see normal conditions once again.  The last patient of the day was a stark reminder that we are not through this yet.  Mid forties with no medical problems, no previous lung disease, on no medications and with a normal weight.  The picture of health except that after starting with COVID symptoms three days earlier, she had to literally crawl into the office because she was so weak.  The oxygen level was low, nearing the point of needing more.  I knew she could go downhill in a hurry.  911 was called and EMS took her around to the emergency room. 

My plea to you and all those you love is simple: please get vaccinated.  This is real. There is no conspiracy.  There is no hoax. At lunch today, the TV at the doctor’s eating area showed India’s “crematoriums.” They are simply open lots with bonfires blazing. COVID has hit India like a California grass fire, ripping through the country.  Many hospitals have run out of oxygen.  The reality is as grim as any situation that I have seen in my lifetime.  The only thing that separates us from them is our access to the vaccines.  In clinical trials they boasted a 95% success rate.  Unheard of. Amazing! Real life experience never quite lives up to the clinical studies. However, a recent post vaccination study showed that they keep elderly patients out of the hospital 94% of the time. 

Isn’t it so nice to open up a bit? For the first time in a year, we had a family dinner with my in-laws at Easter. They had both been vaccinated two weeks prior. What a blessing it is for families to be together.  Recently, one of my fully vaccinated patients reached out to me because he was still hesitant to travel. His mother was dying and he wasn’t sure that he should go.  I told him to go see her.  “Still be careful, but go, you need to be with family,” I said.  He messaged me today saying that he was able to be there for her funeral and to connect with his family. He was so grateful. 

My wife’s family is planning a family reunion in June.  Church meetings are opening up.  Neighbors can be talked to.  This is all good, but remember the two weeks.  Maximum immunity takes two weeks from the second shot.  For my wife, that is in six days, hooray!

It is so tempting to let our collective guard down.  If you have concerns about the vaccine, send me a message. I am more than happy to answer questions and concerns.  In the last year, our country has made a lot of mistakes.  We could have done so much better, but not in this, not the vaccines.  This we did right.  It is the key to our recovery and our hope for the future. 

 

All In

Attending the funeral of a young missionary who was killed in a tragic accident, Elder David A. Bednar, one of our twelve apostles, recalled the courageous faith of the grief-stricken father.  In speaking to those present he admitted that he did not know or understand why his son’s life was taken at such a young age. He concluded with this declaration: “I want you to know that as far as the gospel of Jesus Christ is concerned, our family is all in. We are all in.” About a month ago, Elder Jeremiah Morgan, one of our regional church leaders retold this story at Stake Conference, a biannual meeting of the 9 congregations in our area. With power and a firm conviction he asserted that he and his family were “all in” the gospel of Jesus Christ as well.

As a member of our stake presidency, I have stewardship over 5 of our 9 congregations.  Each week, I prayerfully consider which congregation to attend, hoping that I can be an instrument to bless someone’s life.  A few weeks ago, I had the unmistakable impression to go to one ward in particular.  In our Sunday worship meetings, the sermons are given by members who have been asked to speak by their bishop.  On that week, the assigned theme was to discuss what it means to be “all in.”  This member admitted to being intimidated by the assignment.  She has had a difficult year with a trial that caused her faith to waver.  As she compared herself to the father of the stricken missionary or to Elder Morgan and his family, she felt lacking. She didn’t think she could say that she was “all in.” She did feel like she had hope that she would get to that point and was on the path towards it, trying the best she could for now.  She then courageously shared her struggles, doubts and fears with the congregation.

Tears came to my eyes as I listened to this good, pure young woman with righteous desires. As she spoke, my mind recalled the scriptural account of a young man whose spirit was willing but whose flesh was weak, the apostle Peter.  Early in his ministry he and the other apostles witnessed Jesus heal the sick and miraculously feed thousands. On the night of that miracle, they were sent across the sea of Galilee while Jesus went off alone to pray.  The wind picked up, the waves tossed and Peter and the others, many of whom were experienced seamen, were afraid.  In the distance a man appeared, walking towards them on the water. It was Jesus, of course, and he asked them to take courage and be not afraid.  Peter called out, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.”  The Lord simply said, “come” and Peter with faith took the steps out of the boat and walked on the water. As the wind blew and the waves lapped on his legs his focus wavered, his faith faltered and he began to sink.  “He cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him” (Matthew 14:28-30).  

When the the young woman’s sermon was over, I rose to share a few remarks.  I recounted this story of Peter and then asked the question, “when was Peter all in? Was it when he stepped out of the boat and was walking on top of the water? Or was it when he was sinking and his faith was wavering and he was reaching out toward Jesus asking to be saved? He was literally “all in” at his low point, not his high point.  With all the feeling in my heart, I looked at the woman who spoke and told her that I knew that she was “all in.”  Her faith may not yet be perfect but she had the faith to step out of the boat. Even amidst her personal waves of trial, she had the faith and courage to reach out to him by coming to church and sharing her story with others.

All of us will find ourselves lacking when we compare other’s best to our worst qualities.  Jesus, the one who is actually our judge, doesn’t do that.  He sees us as we are and more importantly he sees us as we can become.  He simply asks us to “come.”  As we reach out to him, he is immediately there to catch us.  Our journey out of the water will not be easy. In fact Jesus later taught his apostles that it is impossible with men, “but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). 

For Christmas this year my daughter gave us a print of this, her favorite picture of Jesus. On the back she wrote, “we love this picture of Christ. It reminds us that when you feel sad or feel like you’re drowning, He is there for us. He is there to help lift us up. We love you and hope you feel Christ’s love always, but especially when you’re ‘drowning’ and need Him most.” Indeed, we need him most when we are “all in” the troubled waters of this life.  May we all feel of his love and saving power this Easter and all year.  I invite you to worship with us this Easter weekend as we listen to our prophets and apostles teach and testify of Him, our Savior and Redeemer at our General Conference.  The link can be found at www.churchofjesuschrist.org.