I Will Give Away All My Sins to Know Thee

I love the story in the Book of Mormon regarding the King of the Lamanites.  We are not even told his name but know that he was the father of Lamoni, a lesser king.  He led a blood thirsty people who knew not God nor his dealings. Through the grace of God and the diligence and faith of young missionaries brothers, Lamoni was converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The King was so impressed with the love that these missionaries showed to his son, even in the face of death, that he wanted to know what it was that gave them this great power.  One of the sons, Aaron, began to teach him, starting with the creation of the world and of our first father, Adam.  He taught him of eternal life through the atonement of Jesus Christ.  The king, desiring such a gift, asked him, "What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou has spoken?  Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted our of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day?  Behold, said he, I will give up all that I posses, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy" (Alma 22:15).  Aaron taught him that he must call on God and repent of his sins.  What follows is one of the most heartfelt, tender prayers recorded in sacred writ.  "O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day" (vs. 18).

Two parts of this prayer stand out to me. In his question to Aaron, his desire was to have eternal life and he was willing to give up temporal possessions to obtain it.  When he called upon God, his request changed.  He understood through the spirit that eternal life is knowing God (see John 3:17) and that it is not bought with silver and gold but is accessed through the atonement by the repenting of our sins.  For many of us, our sins are as our proudest possessions.  Ones we are quite reluctant to part with.  Indeed they are as deep seated weeds, needing to be "rooted" out of our breasts.  We cannot do this alone.  It is only through the grace of our Lord that it can be done.  Each time we come to him through the atonement, we come to know him.  Step by tiny step, he purifies us and sanctifies us.  The reason why we can come to know him is because he is making us more like him.  This process takes a lifetime and will not be complete in mortality.  It does take all of our effort.  It takes giving up all of our sins.

Did Our Hearts Not Burn Within Us?

I love the story of the Savior walking with two of his disciples on the road to Emmaus.  They were obviously distraught over all that had happened in the days following the crucifixtion.  Luke tell us that as they talked and communed over those events, "Jesus himself drew near, and went with them" (Luke 24:15).  Much like the story in my previous post, he essentially asked them what they knew of him, Jesus.  They dutifully recited many of his accomplishments, ending with the wistful, "but we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel" (vs. 21).  He then expounded unto them all things pertaining to him from the beginning as written by Moses and all the holy prophets.  What a great Sunday School lesson that must have been!  They asked him to tarry with them that evening.  They sat to eat.  He took bread and brake it and blessed it "and their eyes were open, and they knew him" (vs. 31).  


How was it that these men, his disciples, could not recognize him as they walked with him?  What was it about breaking bread with the him that made the difference?  As in a previous post entitled, "The Bread of Life," when we partake of the Lord's supper as outlined by him we promise that we will always remember him.  In return he promises us that his spirit will be with us always.  By renewing our covenants with the Lord, we participate in his atonement for us.  I believe that it is in this process that we come to know the Lord.  It starts with repentance and continues through the sacrament.  When we feel his spirit with us, we feel him.  "Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he open ed to us the scriptures? (vs. 32)," asked his disciples after he left from their presence.  

"That They Might Know Thee"

As a young teenager, one of my Sunday school teachers told us a hypothetical story that had a profound impact on me.  He told of us of a righteous man who died and found himself in a room sitting in front of man who asked him just one question, "What do you know of Jesus Christ?"  He stated that he didn't know much but he could remember from occasionally going to church that he was God's son.  He knew that he died on the cross and was born of Mary.  The man politely thanked him and ask him to go through a door on the other side of the room.  The next man to appear in the room was asked the same question.  He, being a leader in his church, had studied the scriptures extensively.  He talked of Jesus being foreordained by the Father before the foundation of the earth, of him offering to fulfill the Father's will and come to the earth as our Savior.  He described how he was chosen over Lucifer, who would receive all the glory by forcing all men to follow his will.  He described how his birth was proclaimed through the ages by prophets and later angels of glory.  He was able to talk of his life, the miracles that he performed, the parables that he taught, the love he portrayed.  He talked of his betrayal, his crucifixion and then of his glorious resurrection.  He talked of Jesus returning to earth in a glorious resurrected body and appearing to apostles and prophets, both ancient and modern.  He spoke of the prophecies of his return to the earth in great glory at his second coming.  In short, he knew all about Jesus.  The man at the table looked him in the eye, tenderly thanked him and asked him to exit through one of the doors.  Lastly, a humble man who struggled in life came to meet the man.  He had lost his wife and raised his children as best he could.  He struggled to overcome certain habits.  He was not much for public speaking.  He couldn't explain all things the previous man had but the scriptures had been a source of strength and peace.  He had spent many hours on his knees pleading for forgiveness, asking for support.  As he entered the room he saw the man, and being overcome, sank to his knees crying, "My Lord, My God." This man knew Jesus.

My teacher asked us, "Will you recognize Jesus when you meet him?"  The question has burned in my heart and mind for years and for a long time the answer was, "I don't think I could."  I had a longing to feel a closeness to him, to really know him, not just know of him.  I pondered, prayed and searched the scriptures to know him.  Those methods were all good but insufficient.  Through certain experiences in my life that I am not quite ready to share in the forum of a blog, I now know that when I am in the presence of Jesus I will know him.  I will recognize the feeling of being in his presence because though I have not seen him with my physical eyes, I have felt his arms of love wrapped around me, my soul has been filled by his spirit, the scales of darkness over my understanding have been lifted as his spirit have taught me things that I never before knew.  In the weeks to come I hope to share my thoughts and experiences through scriptural verses that talk of knowing the Lord.  I can think of nothing more important, for as he prayed to his Father, "And this is life eternal that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent (John 17:3)."

Touching Lives

My thoughts this week have pondered the response to Osama Bin Laden's death.  I can remember seeing patients in the hospital that fateful morning nearly ten years ago and seeing the first pictures of the towers in flames.  As I drove to my office I thought of the suffering of those poor people who lost their lives.  Tears streamed down my face as I thought, "who could be so evil that they would consider this to be a just cause?"  Just this week, on NPR's story corp, I listened to the account of a woman who recounted spending the last 30 minutes of her husband's life on the phone with him.  There was no way out.  She longed to climb through the phone line to be with him.  As she heard the avalanche of the tower collapse around him and the deafening silence that followed, she weeped, holding the phone to her heart, repeating his name over and over.  She is just one of many thousands of people that were hurt by Bin Laden's actions.  For their sake, I am glad that justice was served.  That said, I find no cause for celebration, only for somber reflection.

Mr. Mark Wade, Teacher
Parkway South High School

There was another life that ended all too soon this week.  This individual also affected the lives of thousands of people but in a far different way.  My son's math teacher died suddenly of a heart attack on nearly the same day of Bin Laden's death.  Mr. Wade taught for thirty years.  He is beloved by his students and members of the golf team for which he was the coach.  My older daughter commented that he recently stopped her in the hall, calling her by name and asked about her upcoming college choices.  She has not had him as a teacher for three years.  He went beyond teaching just math concepts, he lived kindness.  Though Bin Laden's image graced the front page of the papers, I trust that Mr. Wade's influence will have made a more lasting impression on the lives of those he touched.  I choose to celebrate his life and the way in which he lived.  His goodness is a reflection of God's.  It is by following the example of the Savior in forgiving and cleaving unto goodness that we will find inner peace for our soul and world peace for us all.  From the words of the hymn:

In remembrance
Parkway South High School

Each life that touches ours for good

Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;

Thou sendest blessing from above

Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,

What greater goodness can we know

Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways

Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,

We hold forever in our hearts

A sweet and hallowed memory,

Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

Karen Lynn Davidson,  copyright 1985