"I Know God"

Elizabeth Read

There once existed in London, a small bookshop owned by the Read family in the early 1850's.  They lived in the back of the shop with their five children.  In my minds eye, I  imagine them going to school, reading books in the evening and gathering for meals.  During one of these meals, two young men from America came knocking at their door.  They said they had a message to share about the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The family replied that they were not interested but invited them in to share their evening meal.  As they spoke that night, Elizabeth, the mother, became more interested.  There was something about these two young men and she felt a desire to know more.  They returned, eventually teaching the whole family, save the older two teenage children.  As the family listened to the message of the "restored gospel" and read their literature, especially the Book of Mormon, a spiritual account of an ancient American civilization, they felt the spirit of the Lord touch their hearts and desired to join this new church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Life was not easy following their decision.  Many people stopped frequenting their store.  The children were mocked in school.  Elizabeth took to doing laundry to help support the family.  The older two children could not understand the choice their parents had made and became angry.  In time, the Reads made the decision to emigrate to America and join with other "saints" (members of the church) in the Salt Lake Valley.  Heartbroken, they said goodbye to the older children, who refused to come, and set sail for America.  From New York, they mostly traveled by train to Iowa City.  There the church had organized companies of handcarts that would travel the 1000 miles across the plains.  

Assembled Handcarts

They joined the Martin Handcart Company.  The number of saints that had come to America had been greater than anticipated and many of the supplies had been exhausted.  They were the last group to organize that year and were delayed several precious weeks waiting for new carts to be assembled.  The task before them was daunting but they were "filled with the spirit of gathering."  Anxiously, the set off.  Tragedy hit the Read family early on.  Walter, the youngest, turned nine on the trail.  There was a strict rule that children must stay with their family.  However, Walter loved to watch the men drive the cattle and begged and begged to be allowed to go up ahead and do so.  Being his birthday, his parents gave him permission.  After some time, Walter grew tired and found some shade under a bush to wait for his family.  He promptly fell asleep.  The whole company passed by unawares.  That evening when the Reads went to look for Walter he was nowhere to be found.  They counseled with the leaders of the company who decided that given the lateness of the season, they could not afford to wait.  Walter's father, Sam, was given a horse and he returned to look for the child.  Walter was eventually found but it took Sam months to do so.  Meanwhile, Elizabeth and her two daughters, Alicia (11) and Thisbe (9) continued on alone.  

Being Rescued

Mile after foot numbing mile passed.  Their worst fears came to pass as the mountain snows hit early that year. In some places they had to break through the ice to cross treacherous rivers.  It was in one of those that little Thisbe rushed into the frigid water, trying to steady their cart that threatened to turn over in the current.  She became soaked to the bone and nearly died from exposure.  High in the mountain passes of Wyoming the company could go no further.  Many weakened and died.  Through the heroic efforts of men sent from Salt Lake, the company was rescued.  Food was delivered and they were brought to the point where wagons could deliver them the rest of the way to the Salt Lake Valley.  


Safe at last, Elizabeth's thoughts turned to her children in London.  She wrote them a letter and detailed all that had transpired.  Sharing it first with her two girls, Alicia responded, “they’ll say, ‘We knew it was a mistake to gather to Zion.’ They’ll be glad they stayed home. They’ll think that the Lord deserted us.”

Woodcarving depicting Elizabeth, Alicia and Thisbe

“He didn’t” Thisbe said stoutly.


“He didn’t,” Ma agreed. Then she wrote again:


“My dear children, we have suffered beyond anything you can imagine. We have seen our comrades weaken and die and be buried in trenches of snow. But in all this suffering we have come face to face with God. It was God who upheld us when our weary bodies would have given up the ghost. It was God who preserved Thisbe to us when it seemed that she would never live. Yes, my children, for the first time in my life I know God. I know that He hears our prayers, and that in His wisdom all is for the best” (The Tempered Wind, Chapter 7).

Yes, Elizabeth is my great-great-great grandmother, passing then through Thisbe.  The legacy of strong faith and strong women runs deep in my family.  In my next post, I'll explore more what it means to know God in the midst of our trials and afflictions.

Knowing the Master

One of the greatest sermons ever given was by a faithful leader of a nation, King Benjamin.  Knowing his time was short on the earth, he gathered his people around him to impart of that which he considered to be of greatest worth.  He taught and testified of he who was the King of Kings, the only one who could lead them in this life and the next, even Jesus Christ.  In his concluding remarks he said the following:

"I say unto you, I would that ye should remember to retain the name written always in your hearts, that ye are not found on the left hand of God, but that ye hear and know the voice by which ye shall be called, and also, the name by which he shall call you" (Mosiah 5:12).

Certainly, participating in the holy ordinance of the sacrament blesses us with the promise that if "we will always remember him, we will have his spirit to be with us" (see Doctrine & Covenants 20:77,79).  As important as the sacrament is to maintaining a spiritual nature and knowing God, it does not tell us how to remember him always, it only tells us that we should.  In the next verse, King Benjamin reveals the key to knowing and remembering.  He says:

"For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart? (Mosiah 5:13)."

In a previous post entitled, "That They Might Know Thee," I wrote about my desires as a young man to know the Savior. I studied, I pondered, I prayed. All of my efforts felt good but I still felt that I lacked something else.  During this time I decided to serve a full time mission for my church.  I was asked to teach the people of Guatemala.  As I immersed myself in the language, the culture but most importantly the people that I met, I grew to love them more and more.  There were many challenges and days of discouragement but when we could teach of Jesus Christ and see the change that came into their lives, I felt pure joy.  My own personal desires seemed less important.  In a quiet moment after I had completed my missionary service I felt the loving assurance of my savior.  I was reminded of those whom I had taught and realized that Jesus had been with me each and every time.  By losing myself in his service, I had found what I had been looking for all along.  It was only by serving with him that I grew to know him.

The Bridegroom

Even worse than facing the Savior some day and not knowing or recognizing him would be to reach him and have him declare that he never knew us.  The words in Matthew are sobering:

"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity" (Matthew 7:21-23).

Jesus is clearly telling us that it takes more than just declaring that he is our Savior.  We must do his Father's will.  He likens those that profess without doing to a man who built his house upon the sand.  We all remember the song from our childhood, "the rains came down and the floods came up...and the house on the sand washed away."  The simple but powerful message that even a child can understand is that we need to build our house on the rock.  The Book of Mormon prophet, Helaman taught his sons this important message, saying:

"And now my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when then devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Helaman 5:12).

More than just professing his name it is by doing his will that he becomes our rock.  After his resurrection he appeared to his apostles, broke bread with them and instructed them.  He also appeared to his disciples on the American Continent and uttered these words,  

"This is my doctrine, ...whoso believeth in me, and is baptized, the same shall be saved...and whosoever buildeth upon this, buildeth upon my rock, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against them" (3 Nephi 11:32, 39).  His will is that we come unto him, accessing his atonement so that we may be cleansed from all sin through his great sacrifice.  He has asked us to repent in faith and then to publicly seal our devotion to him through the sacred order of baptism.  It is not unlike the promise that a man and woman make when they decide to formalize their love through the marriage ordinance.  Such an act entails a higher level of commitment and teaches us more fully of our relationship with Him, he who is our bridegroom.

Baptism is just the beginning of our relationship with the Lord.  Day by day as we seek to know his will and do it, we walk with him, we talk with him, we know him.

I Will Give Away All My Sins to Know Thee

I love the story in the Book of Mormon regarding the King of the Lamanites.  We are not even told his name but know that he was the father of Lamoni, a lesser king.  He led a blood thirsty people who knew not God nor his dealings. Through the grace of God and the diligence and faith of young missionaries brothers, Lamoni was converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The King was so impressed with the love that these missionaries showed to his son, even in the face of death, that he wanted to know what it was that gave them this great power.  One of the sons, Aaron, began to teach him, starting with the creation of the world and of our first father, Adam.  He taught him of eternal life through the atonement of Jesus Christ.  The king, desiring such a gift, asked him, "What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou has spoken?  Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted our of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day?  Behold, said he, I will give up all that I posses, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy" (Alma 22:15).  Aaron taught him that he must call on God and repent of his sins.  What follows is one of the most heartfelt, tender prayers recorded in sacred writ.  "O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day" (vs. 18).

Two parts of this prayer stand out to me. In his question to Aaron, his desire was to have eternal life and he was willing to give up temporal possessions to obtain it.  When he called upon God, his request changed.  He understood through the spirit that eternal life is knowing God (see John 3:17) and that it is not bought with silver and gold but is accessed through the atonement by the repenting of our sins.  For many of us, our sins are as our proudest possessions.  Ones we are quite reluctant to part with.  Indeed they are as deep seated weeds, needing to be "rooted" out of our breasts.  We cannot do this alone.  It is only through the grace of our Lord that it can be done.  Each time we come to him through the atonement, we come to know him.  Step by tiny step, he purifies us and sanctifies us.  The reason why we can come to know him is because he is making us more like him.  This process takes a lifetime and will not be complete in mortality.  It does take all of our effort.  It takes giving up all of our sins.

Did Our Hearts Not Burn Within Us?

I love the story of the Savior walking with two of his disciples on the road to Emmaus.  They were obviously distraught over all that had happened in the days following the crucifixtion.  Luke tell us that as they talked and communed over those events, "Jesus himself drew near, and went with them" (Luke 24:15).  Much like the story in my previous post, he essentially asked them what they knew of him, Jesus.  They dutifully recited many of his accomplishments, ending with the wistful, "but we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel" (vs. 21).  He then expounded unto them all things pertaining to him from the beginning as written by Moses and all the holy prophets.  What a great Sunday School lesson that must have been!  They asked him to tarry with them that evening.  They sat to eat.  He took bread and brake it and blessed it "and their eyes were open, and they knew him" (vs. 31).  


How was it that these men, his disciples, could not recognize him as they walked with him?  What was it about breaking bread with the him that made the difference?  As in a previous post entitled, "The Bread of Life," when we partake of the Lord's supper as outlined by him we promise that we will always remember him.  In return he promises us that his spirit will be with us always.  By renewing our covenants with the Lord, we participate in his atonement for us.  I believe that it is in this process that we come to know the Lord.  It starts with repentance and continues through the sacrament.  When we feel his spirit with us, we feel him.  "Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he open ed to us the scriptures? (vs. 32)," asked his disciples after he left from their presence.  

"That They Might Know Thee"

As a young teenager, one of my Sunday school teachers told us a hypothetical story that had a profound impact on me.  He told of us of a righteous man who died and found himself in a room sitting in front of man who asked him just one question, "What do you know of Jesus Christ?"  He stated that he didn't know much but he could remember from occasionally going to church that he was God's son.  He knew that he died on the cross and was born of Mary.  The man politely thanked him and ask him to go through a door on the other side of the room.  The next man to appear in the room was asked the same question.  He, being a leader in his church, had studied the scriptures extensively.  He talked of Jesus being foreordained by the Father before the foundation of the earth, of him offering to fulfill the Father's will and come to the earth as our Savior.  He described how he was chosen over Lucifer, who would receive all the glory by forcing all men to follow his will.  He described how his birth was proclaimed through the ages by prophets and later angels of glory.  He was able to talk of his life, the miracles that he performed, the parables that he taught, the love he portrayed.  He talked of his betrayal, his crucifixion and then of his glorious resurrection.  He talked of Jesus returning to earth in a glorious resurrected body and appearing to apostles and prophets, both ancient and modern.  He spoke of the prophecies of his return to the earth in great glory at his second coming.  In short, he knew all about Jesus.  The man at the table looked him in the eye, tenderly thanked him and asked him to exit through one of the doors.  Lastly, a humble man who struggled in life came to meet the man.  He had lost his wife and raised his children as best he could.  He struggled to overcome certain habits.  He was not much for public speaking.  He couldn't explain all things the previous man had but the scriptures had been a source of strength and peace.  He had spent many hours on his knees pleading for forgiveness, asking for support.  As he entered the room he saw the man, and being overcome, sank to his knees crying, "My Lord, My God." This man knew Jesus.

My teacher asked us, "Will you recognize Jesus when you meet him?"  The question has burned in my heart and mind for years and for a long time the answer was, "I don't think I could."  I had a longing to feel a closeness to him, to really know him, not just know of him.  I pondered, prayed and searched the scriptures to know him.  Those methods were all good but insufficient.  Through certain experiences in my life that I am not quite ready to share in the forum of a blog, I now know that when I am in the presence of Jesus I will know him.  I will recognize the feeling of being in his presence because though I have not seen him with my physical eyes, I have felt his arms of love wrapped around me, my soul has been filled by his spirit, the scales of darkness over my understanding have been lifted as his spirit have taught me things that I never before knew.  In the weeks to come I hope to share my thoughts and experiences through scriptural verses that talk of knowing the Lord.  I can think of nothing more important, for as he prayed to his Father, "And this is life eternal that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent (John 17:3)."

Touching Lives

My thoughts this week have pondered the response to Osama Bin Laden's death.  I can remember seeing patients in the hospital that fateful morning nearly ten years ago and seeing the first pictures of the towers in flames.  As I drove to my office I thought of the suffering of those poor people who lost their lives.  Tears streamed down my face as I thought, "who could be so evil that they would consider this to be a just cause?"  Just this week, on NPR's story corp, I listened to the account of a woman who recounted spending the last 30 minutes of her husband's life on the phone with him.  There was no way out.  She longed to climb through the phone line to be with him.  As she heard the avalanche of the tower collapse around him and the deafening silence that followed, she weeped, holding the phone to her heart, repeating his name over and over.  She is just one of many thousands of people that were hurt by Bin Laden's actions.  For their sake, I am glad that justice was served.  That said, I find no cause for celebration, only for somber reflection.

Mr. Mark Wade, Teacher
Parkway South High School

There was another life that ended all too soon this week.  This individual also affected the lives of thousands of people but in a far different way.  My son's math teacher died suddenly of a heart attack on nearly the same day of Bin Laden's death.  Mr. Wade taught for thirty years.  He is beloved by his students and members of the golf team for which he was the coach.  My older daughter commented that he recently stopped her in the hall, calling her by name and asked about her upcoming college choices.  She has not had him as a teacher for three years.  He went beyond teaching just math concepts, he lived kindness.  Though Bin Laden's image graced the front page of the papers, I trust that Mr. Wade's influence will have made a more lasting impression on the lives of those he touched.  I choose to celebrate his life and the way in which he lived.  His goodness is a reflection of God's.  It is by following the example of the Savior in forgiving and cleaving unto goodness that we will find inner peace for our soul and world peace for us all.  From the words of the hymn:

In remembrance
Parkway South High School

Each life that touches ours for good

Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;

Thou sendest blessing from above

Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,

What greater goodness can we know

Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways

Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,

We hold forever in our hearts

A sweet and hallowed memory,

Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

Karen Lynn Davidson,  copyright 1985