Banished to the Basement?

March 25, 2020
I awoke this morning with that little tickle in the back of the throat.  Did I sniffle? Was there drainage? I am paranoid?  The answer was yes, yes and yes.  After still not being quite sure what my status was, I decided to stay at home and work here.  My partner was good enough to see my one patient in the hospital and I let my office and my wife know.

So what does that mean for my family? This does not help the anxiety level in the house.  I am on call for 10 doctors this weekend and was thinking that this would be the time when I needed to just sleep downstairs and stay away as much as I can.  Given this sore throat, I did it today, bringing down my essentials.  I set up a card table in our bedroom, fired up the lap top and started doing all my telemedicine visits.

Half way through the day I called my mother, who is not happy with me and my siblings.  Due to her age and conditions we told her that she can’t be driving to town and doing her errands.  Unfortunately she does not really understand the scope of this virus and the risks to those in her age group.  I think that I finally was able to assure her that we weren’t picking on her, that everyone in her situation is being told the same thing.  Hopefully, she’ll still talk to me tomorrow.

My wife is a saint to put up with all of this.  It is taking a toll on her.  By the end of the day, I still felt pretty good so I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood.  The sun had come out, people were walking the streets, working in the yard-all at a safe distance. The smaller trees and underbrush had all started to sprout their new leaves almost over night.  I don’t know what the pollen count was but I am sure it was high.  By the time I got home I was convinced that I simply had allergies.

My partners reached out to me and asked how I was doing, I responded: “I am fine. Pretty sure I have seasonal allergic rhinitis compounded by paranoia without psychotic features (yet)!” They all got a kick out of that.  I’ll be back at it tomorrow.  Sometimes it is just good to laugh at yourself.

On a lighter, happier note, my wife’s niece was married today in our church’s temple in Payson, Utah.  We certainly would have loved to have been there but due to the virus, only eight people are being allowed to participate and even then, some areas aren’t allowed to hold the ceremony at all.  They decided to move ahead being married for “time and all eternity.”  I am proud of them for not letting fear of an uncertain future derail their commitment to each other and to God.  When all is said and done, Our Heavenly Father’s only wish is to exalt us and bring us back home.  We may go through trials and times of discouragement, but he won’t banish us to the basement, he will bring us up back home to Him.

Social Connecting

Social distancing is the new buzz word.  Flattening the curve for the virus will save our health care system and by so doing, save lives.  I hope that most of you truly understand how critically important this process is. My wife came across an idea in our neighborhood where each family was invited to put a stuffed bear in one of their windows so that when kids went on a walk they could go on a “bear hunt.”  What a fun idea. My daughter discovered a post from someone who found herself rushing to her front window every time she saw someone walk by so that she could wave to them.  “Now I know why dogs act the way they do!,” she exclaimed.

At the office we started using video in more earnest this week and especially today.  For some people-the younger ones, this is quite natural and easy. Now mind you, many of my patients grew up in a different generation.  The idea of video conferencing is like teaching an old dog new tricks.  Today when asking one of my patients if her phone could do that she said, “I am 87 years old, my phone may do that but I don’t!”  We decided to stick with just voice and it worked fine.

Today I had a patient with a bad sore throat.  Of course it would have been best to see and examine him in person but I managed to have him tilt his camera just right so I could see back there and determine that his tonsils were indeed, not enlarged and less likely to be from strep.  Another patient was able to show me a boil that required an antibiotic. I was event sent some pictures of a rash and could determine that indeed this individual had shingles as diagnosed in the urgent care.  There are limits, though.  One woman described a lump to me that was “down there.”  Smiling, I said, “I am not going to ask you to stick your phone down there to show me.”  She laughed and said, “Oh, no, my booty is much too big for that!”  We both had a good laugh.

Tonight I met over Zoom with our Stake President and we planned how to adapt our “Come, Ask, See” meeting for technology. It is geared for those interested in learning more about our church and was planned for this Sunday.  We are going to try and do a large Zoom meeting which will allow everyone to stay put and stay safe.  If you are interested, I’ll post the information once it has been finalized.

We are blessed to live in an age where we can socially connect with others even as we keep our distance.  How are you keeping in touch with the ones you love?

Faith Over Fear

The day really begins late in the night as my phone rings indicating there is a call from the hospital.  This time the fear of COVID-19 is real and the person is admitted to the “COVID” floor.

We are fortunate to have a floor of almost completely unused rooms that were vacated a few years back when the new wing of the hospital was built.  I know that there are eventual plans for these rooms but for now it is being put to good use for the pandemic.  It would be great if the affected patients could always be put there but I fear it won’t be enough before too long.  Procedures are now in place so that anyone suspected to have the COVID-19 virus will be taken care of by a dedicated team on a dedicated floor thus minimizing exposure to other staff and patients.

My patient had family members who had traveled to Italy and they had recently been to visit them. The patient presented with severe abdominal pain and now needs surgery to take out the gall bladder.  Thankfully, testing for the virus turned out to be negative. Patients still get ill with all the problems that we had before but now everything lays on a blanket of pandemic fear.

I am grateful to work in a hospital with proactive leaders who are not waiting to react but preparing the best we can.  My partner is the Chief Medical Officer for the hospital and is tirelessly working with the hospital committee to organize and prepare.  He has spoken to all of us internists who could step up and help if the demand gets as high as we think.  The response has been heartening. Repeatedly the answer has been, “sure, whatever it takes.”

I remember my own moment when I realized what I would do if faced with a dangerous exposure. It was about two summers ago when the Ebola virus was feared to come from Africa to our lands. Patients were being screened as to their travel and one of mine came with the report that he had just come from Sierra Leon, Africa. This was one of the “hotspots.”  I had him stay in the hall. I donned a mask, swallowed hard and went to talk to him. It turns out he had gone to Sri Lanka, not Sierra Leon and it was a false alarm. I knew from that experience, though, that I would be willing to care for my patients regardless of the risk.

I stand proud with so many others who may be looked over who are equally courageous.  I am first and foremost grateful for my family who are willing to still take me home at night.  My staff at the office have not blinked twice about doing what is needed.  As I left the office today, I passed the cleaning crew getting ready to wipe everything down for the next day.  I am sure that many of them do not earn large wages and yet they are crucial to our effort.

Ultimately it is faith that keeps us going. Faith that this too will pass. Faith that the sun will shine again.  Faith that like the spring that is starting to sprout and bud around us, human life will conquer.  It is my faith that there is a God who knows and loves each one of us. I do not believe he is vengeful and sending a scourge to punish his children. Some things just happen in this life we call mortality.  I do know that if we reach out to him he can comfort anyone of us.

Yesterday I posted on Facebook a simple song sung by faith filled missionaries who serve here in St. Louis.  Tonight a friend told me of the struggle one of their children is having with anxiety. The child has not been able to sleep well and is panicked about the safety and health of the parents.  My friend brought their family together and played this song for them.  Last night brought comfort and peace where before there was despair.  The child was able to feel calm and sleep through the night. That is the power of love and faith.

Peace in Turmoil

Sunday is a day of rest, but not apparently for the COVID-19 virus.  We woke to the news of record level of the virus. Most chilling to me are the reports out of Italy because I feel that our country is following along its trajectory more so than the Asian countries.

I have been texting with my siblings through the day.  We have shared with each other articles. Some are more factual than others.  We discussed how we sift through information.  I was asked which sources that I trust the most.  I stick with the usual news sources for data.  I don't have access to the data any better than the rest of society. I have been trained to pick out what is meaningful and what to discard.  I stay away from social media sources.

I was also asked about masks. I continue to see many who are confused about how they work in preventing spread.  Thankfully from everything that I have read that this corona virus is spread like the common cold or influenza, by droplets and not by being aerosolized like chicken pox or measles.  As such, the masks are most important to put on patients who are actively coughing.  They are good for health care workers who could be within three feet of the individual should the patient cough on them.  Other than that, it is all about good hand washing.

It has been easy to get sucked into the vortex of the news cycle.  We are all feeling anxious. I am grateful for the peace I find from our Lord Jesus Christ who promised, "peace  I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." Even when our heart is pounding and worry is all around, he can provide peace. Gina while studying the scriptures today felt this as she read of Enos who after receiving an answer to his prayer said, "I knew it would be according to the covenant which he had made; wherefore my soul did rest."  I love that, rest to the soul. Now, how do we maintain this peace?  It is not easy and in the days ahead there will be struggles to come.  We can do it together.

And So it Begins

I've decided to jot down some thoughts, hopefully each day as there seems to be some interest in my perspective on the Corona Virus situation since I am a primary care physician.  I truly don't have an agenda other than sharing. Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer them as I am able.

As I talked with my partner yesterday I said that I feel like we are sitting in the eye of a hurricane, the calm before the storm. Living in a "flyover" state has its advantages given the situation in New York, California and the Chicago area. That said, our turn is coming.

Two weeks ago I felt tremendous anxiety in regards to my situation as both a leader in my church and our policies in the office.  At church we had discussions about when to shut down our weekly sacrament meeting.  We met a few days later and decided that if schools shut down or the health department declared no gatherings that we would keep people at home. The very next day I felt even more uncomfortable and called the Stake President (our regional leader that I work with) and we decided that I would call our Area Authority, Elder Hintze who is also a doctor.  I immediately called and as we were talking on the phone, the general leaders of our church released the announcement that all in person meetings would be cancelled for the foreseeable future in the whole world.  That was a huge relief and an answer to prayer.

The next day, Friday March 13, my anxiety turned to my office. After talking to all my partners and our regional managers we met together that evening. Specifically, we discussed what to do with our patients who were coming for routine visits that were not ill.  We decided unanimously to suspend those visits and do everything that we could over the phone to limit exposure to our vulnerable patients, our staff and ourselves.  We put in place procedures this week that I believe has served as well but still kept us in touch with our patients.  There are many more details of the last week but I will now skip to my specific thoughts from yesterday and today.

Thoughts of Corona are never far away.  A dear 96 year old who was recently treated for pneumonia in January requiring an extended stay at a skilled nursing facility awoke with a cough, weakness and confusion.  Her daughter called and we discussed how aggressive they wanted to be. Even without the threat of Corona looming, she did not want to take her mother back to the hospital. Together we decided that we would try an antibiotic but would have our hospice nurses see her so that she could stay home for her last days.

Another patient called having had chest pains the day before.  She had been quite anxious due to stress in her life, augmented by concerns for the virus.  Likely this was the cause.  She is 57, smokes and has a family history of heart disease.  A normal stress test two years ago is reassuring but not definitive. Together we talked of doing further testing but agreed that it might be more risky in the current environment to bring her into our health care system. She promised to call if things got worse and we will wait and see.  These are some of the discussions that I have, every day.

At home I worry about bringing anything home. My exposure has been quite limited but as the hospital becomes full, we primary care doctors who still see our own patients in the hospital will step up and essentially become hospitalists. The current ones  will be on the front line for COVID patients and we will take over the care for the other patients.

Do I need to essentially self-quarantine when at home?  Do I sleep in another room? We have not been told the answer to these question but it is likely, "yes". Already I have taken to wearing scrubs at work, changing back into clothes at the end of the day after showering at the office.

My faith has been an anchor to my soul.  Yes, I feel stress and I worry but "I know in whom I have trusted. God will be my support."  I am grateful to be of service to others and will "trust in him with all my heart."  To keep my mind distracted at home, Gina and I have been working on a few projects. We have been painting rooms, creating a grand kid room in the basement and I have started a new puzzle.  I may have to start up a new wood carving as well.  I continue to read from the scriptures daily and prayer is never far from my mind. What do you do to keep sane?

Eternal Love

As a young 18 year old freshman at Brigham Young University I fell hard for a gorgeous girl from Missouri.  Gina and I dated most of that freshman year but then I packed up and left her and everything else in my life to spend two years as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I knew that my chance of getting her back at the end of those two years was slim but I was hopeful.  What I thought was love then grew only deeper as I focussed my energies on serving my Savior, Jesus Christ.  

Through the scriptures, I learned that the command to love God and our neighbor have been with us from Old Testament times.  We are asked to love our neighbor with all our heart, might, mind and strength.  When it came to Gina, I knew I could keep that commandment easily.  

My 24 months as a missionary grew to 28 months due to having suffered a knee injury in Guatemala half way through the time of my service.  During my time at home recovering, I took a painting class and had the audacity of painting the temple in Washington D.C. as a gift for her.  It is in our temples where marriages are performed that last not just until “death do you part” but for “time and all eternity.”  In the temple we are sealed together with God as our partner.  Giving her such a gift was a not so subtle reminder that I hoped that our relationship would last forever.  

Now, after 31 years of marriage, the love I feel for my wife far exceeds any feeling I had in those early years.  We went through medical school days together, bought our first home together, raised a family together.  We have prayed together, cried together, planned, laughed and loved together.  

In recent years I have pondered the passage in John where Jesus teaches, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you” (John 13:34). This was taught shortly before his atonement and resurrection.  This was to be a higher law.  I may love my wife with all my heart but that doesn’t come close to the love that Jesus has for each one of us.  His love is infinite and eternal.  His love is patient and kind.  It is long suffering, never faltering.  It soothes and heals and makes us whole.  No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to love as he loved. 

The only way for me to have the love that Jesus has is if He gives me that love.  The prophet Mormon taught this concept as he implored, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure” (Moroni 7:47).  

As I have prayed for this blessing, it has augmented and enriched the love I feel for my wife.  The Savior has blessed our union and expanded our capacities.  He never intended our relationship to be limited by the bounds of mortality but to be eternal.  

Thirty two years ago when I completed my time as a missionary, I certainly didn’t know nor understand what I do today but I had a glimpse of what could become.  Early in our reacquaintance, I found myself on a ski lift asking this remarkable woman, “So what are you doing for the next 45,000 years?”  A bit awkward of a pick up line but my meager attempt to broach the subject of forever has become a symbol of our goal to achieve an everlasting love.  The number is engraved inside the ring that she wears declaring her status as my wife and I engraved it on the bottom of this wood carving that was inspired by my attempt to love her purely.  

The red cedar represents the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ that makes our relationship possible.  The carving is a ring of sorts in its own way.  Each end forms a heart, the arms of which twist so that when observed at a 45 degree angle, it forms the image of the infinity symbol.  It is one eternal round.  There are two additional hearts that form at the base and at the top of the carving, a representation of our four wonderful children who are sealed to us forever.  Though they may go off and form their own infinity heart, they will always be a part of us just as I remain an eternal son of my own parents.  

Much of this carving was done while I was in Utah caring for my dying father this summer.  Jesus is indeed a “man of sorrows; acquainted with grief...surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows...and with his stripes we are healed” (see Isaiah 53:3-5).  I have felt the tender arms of my Redeemer during these difficult times.  I am grateful for the knowledge that through the ordinances of his gospel eternal love is possible.  

Enduring Joy

Earlier this summer I was on a morning run. Dark clouds hinted at the threat of rain. They cast somber shadows across the valley that mirrored the feelings in my heart. At that time, I was in Utah helping to care for my father who was dying of cancer. He seemed to grow weaker by the day and now could no longer even get out of bed. Minimal movement caused him significant pain. I grieved for him and for me knowing that he would soon be gone. As I headed up the road back home a ray of sunshine burst through the canyon under the clouds. Immediately my spirits were lightened, seemingly symbolic of the tender mercies of the Lord that we as a family had been experiencing even while dealing with our grief. These rays did not dispel the clouds but they did hint at better times yet to come. The psalmist penned, “weeping may endure fora night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalms 30:5).

My topic this evening is this: How does the gospel of Jesus Christ bring us joy even in the midst of life’s trials?

Finding Joy Amidst Trials
Sister Kennedy Kingston, a full-time missionary from our stake serving in the Washington Seattle Mission recently wrote, “I love my Father in Heaven and my brother Jesus Christ so much! I get so overwhelmed with joy and a sense of gratitude that brings me to a humility deeper than any humility I've ever felt before. What I have learned is that the difficult and the best are not two separate experiences. It's the difficult and the best together that make serving a mission such an impactful and character changing experience. I have grown to deeply appreciate hard moments. It's in these moments that I feel myself changing and developing a more Christlike character” (September 2019).

For many years, I have been looking for joy while reading the scriptures. Every time I find a reference I mark it in pink and put it in a folder. As I have pondered repeatedly on these verses I have come to the conclusion that almost all these scriptures have a common theme of accessing the atonement of Jesus Christ. This is perfectly described by Pres. Nelson when he said, “when we can feel the Savior’s Atonement working in our lives, we will be filled with joy” (Pres. Nelson Oct 2016).

I would like to highlight three ways in which accessing the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ brings joy to our lives even amidst our darkest days. The first is through the process of repentance.

Repentance
This is what Sister Kingston was talking about when she states that she feels herself changing to become more Christlike. Pres. Nelson taught, “when we choose to repent, we choose to change! We allow the Savior to transform us into the best version of ourselves. We choose to grow spiritually and receive joy—the joy of redemption in Him. When we choose to repent, we choose to become more like Jesus Christ!” (Nelson April 2019).

Eve recognized the power of repentance and its pivotal role in the plan of salvation. After leaving the garden of Eden she declared, “were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption” (Moses 5:11).

My father was my boyhood hero and continues to be so today. I would do anything he asked me to do and yet he made it quite clear that he was not a perfect role model. He freely admitted that he had made mistakes in life and was trying to find his way on the path just like everyone else. He would never ask me to follow him but he certainly asked me to walk with him. It was from him that I learned about the Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ. It changed his life.

At my father’s memorial service the following verse from the mouth of the Savior Jesus Christ through the Prophet Moroni was printed on the program, which was a mantra in his life:

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

Enduring Trials
The second way in which we find joy through the atonement of Jesus Christ is it’s enabling power that strengthens us while enduring trials.

Another one of my heroes is Dianne Falk who is in the Lindell Ward. She was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ on December 29, 2004. Due to severe multiple sclerosis she required 4-5 elders in the font to help immerse her in the water. Her faith in following the plan is awe inspiring. Despite her disability she has managed to live on her own with some help, attend church regularly and loves to go to the temple. When I asked her to share with me how she finds joy, she answered, “When I am feeling low, I pray and I think about what is good in my life and I focus on that. I don't focus on the bad things in my life. I just don't think about being sick. I really don't. I get so many blessings when I go to the temple; or even when I go to church, that I just don't think about it. I know that serving is really important. The way I serve sounds really silly, but it really does work: I smile. I smile and I say, "Thank you" to everyone and I say, "Have a good day." Everybody tells me I am the kind girl that nothing seems to bother me. I think that's because I have affected their lives just by a smile” (Dianne Falk Oct 2019).

During my father’s illness he suffered a fractured sternum due to cancer in the bone. He then developed intractable hiccups that went on for many hours. Each one felt like a knife stabbing him in the chest. One night in particular, I prayed as I have never prayed before. Crying out in the name of the Lord I felt faith build in my soul and called on the powers of heaven to stop his misery. This combined with the prayers of so many others led to a huge improvement that very night. The next day was Sunday. Some of the priests in his ward came over to bless and give him the sacrament. As they pronounced the words of the prayer I felt an outpouring of love from our Savior Jesus Christ. I wept
with joy knowing and feeling that love for my father.

Serving Others
“When we are in the service of our fellow men,” declared King Benjamin, “we are only in the service of our God” (Mosiah 2:19). Helping others access the atonement of Jesus Christ is the third way in which we receive of his joy. “And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!” (D&C 18:16).

This principle was brought to my mind when reading a letter from another one of our missionaries, Sister Megan Lofgreen who lost her grandfather at almost the same time that I lost my father. She wrote, “I wanted to bear my testimony about eternal families. Some of you may know that my grandpa passed away this past week. Obviously these things are always hard, but the day after he passed, we were at the temple explaining to our friend about how we can be sealed to our families forever. One of the other missionaries who didn't have any idea about my grandpa asked me why the sealing ordinance was important to me, and I got to bear my testimony that I know I will see my grandfather and all the rest of my loved ones again, and how death is not the end. I'm so grateful for the gospel and for eternal families!” This is why Elder Oaks pronounced, “Sharing the gospel is not a burden but a joy. What we call “member missionary work” is not a program but an attitude of love and outreach to help those around us” (Oct 2016).

My father was a great example to me of one who found joy in helping others. For most of his life he worked with the youth. There are countless examples of those he influenced. There was a time, though, when he grew discouraged and felt that he wasn’t able to connect with the youth as he had in years past. He went to the bishop and asked to be released. He was subsequently called to serve as the Sunday School President.

Not content to just assign teachers and ring the bell for the next class, he pondered about the gospel principles class for new and returning members. They didn’t really have anyone who was coming to that class. He systematically started visiting all the members of his ward who were not consistently attending church. He first became their friend and then one by one he would invite them to come to his class.

There was one family who didn’t make it to church much but showed an abundance of Christ like love in caring for their invalid mother. He was quite touched by their service. When they declared that they were “less active” he responded, “You are not less active in the gospel. You may not go to church but you are living a Christ like life.” While I was home caring for him, they sent my father a note thanking him for his love and for having more faith in them than they had in themselves. They have been regularly attending their church meetings now for many years and find joy in being stake family history missionaries.

By the end of that year, there were 20-30 people who regularly attended those classes. He helped many of them prepare to go to the temple. He often told me of the joy it was to attend with them.

One of the bright rays of sun that lit up my day during this time of gloom came from a message I received from a woman that I had the blessing of being able to teach in Guatemala 30 years earlier as a full time missionary. “Las familias son eternas usted nos lo enseño... gracias ...animo Elder Fuller algun dia abrazará de nuevo a su padre.” (Families are forever, you taught us that...thank you...take heart Elder Fuller you will one day embrace your father again!) Her words to me, reminded me of God’s love and brought joy just when I needed it most.

Conquering Darkness
I think that most of us understand these principles but what do we do when all we can see are dark clouds, when our hope has vanished and our faith is shaken? Losing my father has hit me harder than anything has before. I have never felt such an ache that seems to have dug a hole deep in my heart. Recently, one of our neighbors watched my three year old grandson Jack and asked him about his “other grandparents.” He responded that he had Grandma Dixie (my mother) and Grandpa Bob, but “he died and went to heaven.” “I’m so sorry,” she responded, “do you miss him.” Looking her square
in the eye he said, “Everyone misses Grandpa.”

In her talk at his memorial service my sister said the following, “I had never felt the sting of death so near and dear to me before. I really had no idea how sad sad can get. To be honest I was unprepared. In fact I felt blindsided. I knew my Dad would pass away at some point. We all do. He lived a full 81 years. So why was I feeling a sadness I didn’t know could penetrate so deep. I have concluded that it’s not actually sadness I’m feeling, but love. His passing has forced me to feel my entire lifetime’s sum of my father's unconditional love, all at once. A love that was spaced over 43 years is now condensed to one moment and my heart literally hurts to the point of bursting.”

Sister Megan Shipley, a member of the South Stake, described joy in this way shortly after her baptism, “While happiness may be rainbows and butterflies and a pleasant stroll through green pastures, the Lord did not promise us happiness. He said, "Man is that he might have joy." And joy is found in the midst of a storm when we can remember our Savior who sacrificed his life for us that we may live. Joy is found while trudging through thick muddy waters knowing that God loves us enough to put us in this world that we may learn and grow. Joy is powerful because it is true and eternal and can impact the hearts and souls of men everywhere” (Talk given in Parkway Ward July 25, 2010).

Nephites in the Land Bountiful

I would like to conclude by reviewing the account of the Nephites who were visited by the Lord Jesus after his resurrection.

This was a group of people who had cause to mourn. They had just lost their families, friends, their homes. Widespread destruction had wiped out their cities and the land was covered in a thick darkness that was so dense that no light could be seen or fire could be lit (3 Nephi 8:22). Their howlings were described as “great and terrible.” They heard the voice of the Lord plead for them to repent and turn unto him. As they did so “their mourning was turned into joy” (verse 10).

They gained strength from one another as they gathered in the land Bountiful at the temple. In a miraculous fashion, Jesus descended from the heavens and appeared before them. Each one witnessed for themselves that he was their Redeemer. They felt the tokens in his hands and feet. They embraced him.

He instructed them regarding his doctrine and invited them to participate in the ordinances of his gospel. They were baptized, they received the gift of the Holy Ghost. He instituted the sacrament among them. As he prepared to leave them he gathered them around him in a circle and as they knelt before him, he healed their wounds. What happened next is one of my father’s favorite passages of scriptures. On the day of my father’s passing, my family and I gathered around his bed and we read these verses together:


And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, he prayed unto the Father,
And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father; And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father (3 Nephi 17:15-17)

When Jesus finished praying he looked on the multitude and said:

Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.
And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.
And when he had done this he wept again;
And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones. And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them (verses 20-24).

Brothers and Sisters, I bear testimony that we can feel joy even while experience overpowering grief. The joy that the Savior brings to our life will break through our dark clouds of despair as the rays of the morning sun. Furthermore, as we reach out to those around us, together we are able to more fully feel the warmth of his love and the joy of our redemption. I pray that we may all seek to access the atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives each and every day. In his holy name. Amen.