COVID Coping

Stress is all around us. The current pandemic adds to and magnifies the stress that we already feel.  There is the stress of becoming infected. The worry that it could progress to a critical stage and even death. There is the stress that I could infect my family. Luckily, my job security is solid as opposed to the patient I saw today who was notified that his research position is being furloughed till the end of July.  I listened to a report recently forecasting that divorces would be going up due to the stress of couples spending more time together.  I certainly don’t have that problem.  I welcome any time that I can get to be with my sweetheart.

Today reminded me of the stress that I and most of my colleagues feel in primary care on a daily basis.  We are quite good at second guessing ourselves.  It is not uncommon after a phone call in the middle of the night from the Emergency Room, like I received last night, to have a hard time going back to sleep.  My mind will circle and wonder if the diagnosis is correct.  Did I remember to give the appropriate orders?

On a typical day, most conditions that I come across are pretty straightforward.  The human body has an amazing capacity to regenerate and recover so my job often is to educate and reassure that things are going to get better.  What we all worry about is that patient who doesn’t quite fit into the normal categories.  More than anything we worry about missing an important diagnosis.  If this anxiety goes to far, unnecessary tests will be performed for common conditions just so “nothing is missed.”  On the other hand, the right test done at the right time will lead to the correct diagnosis and is crucial to taking care of the problem.  The right balance is key.  I try to always give my patients an expectation for recovery and resolution.  If they continue to have symptoms, I tell them to come back so that I can consider other possibilities.

A different stress that we have is having the difficult conversations with patients and their families.  I will never get used to having to tell someone that they have cancer or other life threatening conditions.  Discussing someone’s wishes at the end of their life is also stressful.  Most people don’t want to spend their last days on life support.  However, how does one determine which days are the last days?  It is not always clear. That is part of our job, and it is stressful.  To sit a patient and family down and tell them it is time to pull back and make sure the patient is comfortable is hard.  Am I right?  Is now the time?  I am almost always right but there is no crystal ball.

Now there is the added stress of families, scared out of their mind with worry about their loved one in the hospital but they are not allowed to be with them.  It is easy for them to worry and assume the worst.  I have been making an extra effort to reach out and call them each day.  They are so relieved and seem to appreciate the effort.

So how do we deal with the stress in our lives?   What is the best way to cope? Here are some of mine:
Keep my mind occupied.  When I am at work, I am all in.  When I am with a patient, I have to be with them in that moment.  As soon as I walk out of a room, I have to be able to turn that off and reset for the next one.  Similarly at home it helps to turn off the day by my hobbies.  When I am involved in my wood carving, it forces me to think of nothing else.  Regular exercise also keeps me sane.  When gasping for breath, it is hard to worry about anything else.

One of my friends sent me a picture of her new project: backyard bucket gardening.  She doesn’t even cook but now she is growing potatoes, tomatoes and herbs!  What a great way to take the stress out of life.  Helping something grow, bringing something to life is the perfect activity during the current pandemic.  She plans to share her produce with friends and neighbors.  I am inspired by her great idea.

My partner has been building a new shelving unit in his house.  Like our bunk bed project, building is a great antidote to dealing with the stress of this disease.  I know many who are involved in making masks and donating them.

My son has been playing music.  We love to hear him play his violin. He has jumped back on the piano and is learning when of my favorite songs, Billy Joel’s “New York State of Mind.”  There may need to be a new verse written by the time we are through with COVID-19.

Last but certainly not least is prayer, meditation and scripture study.  “Peace I leave with you,” says Jesus. “My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). He does not make our life easy but he can strengthen us in him.  I am grateful for the peace that I feel despite all that is going on around me. May we all have the strength to manage our stress. We will get through this together.